Coping with social distancing

We have the answers for you.

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) has put together a COVID-19 resource page for individuals seeking mental health support to manage the crisis. If you have a prior experience with trauma, often feel anxious on a regular basis, and struggle with managing stress, it is expected that this experience may place a strain on your coping skills.

Sigh of Relief. We will get through this together.

And just like that, we were home…

Many of us may not have anticipated, or considered that this virus would affect our country, our communities and our homes. I remember listening to the news daily that covered Covid-19 with hopes that the crisis would slowly become yesterday’s news. It never did. While we were living our best lives, attending meetings, walking our children to school, planning our parties and gatherings, people around the world were slowing affected by the disease. Within a matter of days, we were informed that the best protection was “social distancing”, and with days our abilities to attend restaurants, go to the barber, get our nails did, go shopping, go to work, and so much more would end. It is normal for us to experience stress and anxiety symptoms. It is normal to feel panic and worry about our futures and our families. It is expected that our past experiences of trauma may influence our coping.

It is normal for us to experience stress and anxiety symptoms.
As we learn to cope with our temporary new-reality

“Through the storm”

You can expect that the crisis will place a strain on your emotional, mental and psychological health. During this crisis focus on: seek credible information, assess personal risk, maintain your familiar routines, find balance, make “intentional” moves, practice relaxation and meditation.

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health posted a website to assist you with managing the crisis within your daily life. For more information and to access their website select below:

Centre for Addiction and Mental Health

I will try to be honest and authentic. The first week was absolutely difficult for me. I went from meeting and speaking to over 100 people per week, from teaching amazing students, meeting with my wonderful play-therapy kids, to supporting adults, couples and families, and so much more… to closing my office (insert crying face emoji). The curve was unreal. Emotions such as panic, fear, worry, anxiety, stress, and frustration were floating through me and around those I spoke with. Acknowledging our feelings are real means that we can imagine ourselves floating through muddy waters and accepting we are here, in this place, right now. Radically accept that we can not change our current circumstances but we can make the best out of our situation. We can draw upon our inner resiliency, strength and faith to help us float through this experience until we reach the shore again.

Lower the channel on Covid-19 updates
Video chat friends and/or family every day
Netflix, Prime, Crave video is the place of all great series
Host & attend virtual events
Rekindle your love for board games. Monopoly anyone?
Bake new recipes every day
Create your own family cook show
Get plenty of rest & sleep
Journal

Maintain your similar routines, with more breaks
Exercise daily
Yoga exercises
Read a new book
Join an online book class
Connect with friends you neglected to speak with
Creative writing or art
Plan your 2021 vacation schedule
Moderate alcohol & drug use
Boost your immune system with healthy foods & drinks

Crisis Resources

During this challenging time, many aspects of our lives are being impacted. If you are experiencing mental health difficulties or distress, and find yourself in crisis and in need of support, the following are a list of relevant resources. In the case of an emergency, please call 911 or contact your nearest hospital emergency department.

CAMH provides information on coping with stress and anxiety, as well as strategies to maintain mental wellness during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Durham Mental Health Services offers a range of crisis supports to assist individuals who are experiencing a personal or situational crisis. Crisis services are free and confidential. C.A.L.L. (Crisis-Access-Linkage-Line)
Call 905-666-0483 (Local) Call 1-800-742-1890 (Toll Free)

Kids Help Phone is a 24/7 national support service for young people and completely confidential. Text CONNECT to 686868 Call 1-800-668-6868

Distress Centre Durham offers 24/7 telephone services, with trained responder volunteers who can provide emotional support and encouragement, crisis management, suicide risk assessment, community resource/ referral information, and emergency intervention. Call 905-430-2522

Youthspace.ca is an emotional and crisis support chat, available to anyone in Canada under 30, from 9pm to 3am EST. Online Instant Message Chat Text 778-783-0177

Anxiety & Teenagers

by: Helen Gibbs MSW (c), M.A. CYS

Writing exams, moving to a new school, or a job interview are some examples of events that may cause your teenager to be nervous, moody and/or withdrawn. In those situations, those types of reactions would likely be expected and your teenager often “bounces” back once the stressful event is over. However, nowadays more and more teenagers are experiencing frequent or daily feelings of anxiety that are impacting on their activities at school, at home, and in the community. The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto noted that anxiety is the most common form of mental health concerns in adolescents, affecting upwards of 20% of children and adolescents over their lifespan (1). Anxiety may be very evident in your teenager, in that they tell you about all their worries and concerns. But sometimes anxiety is more hidden and presents itself as school refusal, repeated complaints of feeling ill, sleeping too much or too little, defiance and/or intense moodiness. Teenagers with anxiety often feel very fearful but can have difficulty identifying the source. They commonly experience anxiety as feelings of unease and dread in anticipation of an ambiguous event (2). It is highly recommended that you speak to your family doctor or other health care professional should you notice that your teenager is presenting with some or all these symptoms on a regular basis.

The good news is that anxiety can be successfully managed.
Helen

As a parent, what can you do?

All teenagers benefit from having loving, supportive parents. However, for teenagers with anxiety they require parents with a great deal of patience and understanding. Parenting a teenager with anxiety can be challenging as ‘usual’ teenage behaviours, such as going to school, become areas of intense conflict.
It is important to educate yourself about the symptoms of anxiety and ways to get support. Joining online parent support groups through Facebook is one resource (e.g. Teenage Depression & Anxiety – Support for Parents group).
If you prefer to connect with others face to face, there are parent support groups in Durham Region and Toronto. HOPE – Helping Other Parents Everywhere is one example and more information can be found at www.hope4parents.ca.

Additional Strategies:

Encourage your teenager to open up about worries and fears: Start by describing a recent situation when you observed some signs of anxiety in your teenager. “

“Yesterday, when Sarah came over to do homework, you seemed very quiet and you just stared at your phone. It seemed you may have been a bit nervous about having her over. What was that like for you?”

Tell your teenager about some things you feared when you were the same age ( especially if you shared the same types of fears) and ask if he or she has any similar worries or fears (e.g. failing an exam, being ostracized from social group).
Validate, validate, validate: When your teenager expresses anxiety or worry, offer reassurance by saying you believe him or her, and that having those feelings is okay. You do not have to come up with the solutions to fix it. Show acceptance of his/her worry thoughts and anxious feelings. If you stay calm, it will help your teenager to stay calm, too!
Set the example: Be mindful of the comments you make about your own stress (e.g. “if one more thing happens, I am going to lose my mind”. Talk to your teenagers about the healthy ways that you manage stress and encourage them to join you (e.g. taking a walk, yoga, deep breathing).

Loving your Teen

Teenagers with anxiety benefit from learning strategies to identify, cope and/or conquer their anxiety. Studies has shown that Cognitive Behaviour, Therapy, Mindfulness, Exercise and a healthy diet can contribute significantly to addressing anxiety (3). There are also articles, books, websites and apps available on a wide variety of topics related to anxiety.

A great website for teenagers and parents is:www.anxietycanada.com. Amongst its many resources, is a section specifically geared towards teenagers that uses a variety of methods (e.g. videos, quizzes and games) to get them engaged in learning.

Cellphones & Apps

Over the past few years, with the increased use of cell phones, several apps have been designed to help people with anxiety. Three are listed here, in no particular order:

Mindshift CBT – free App for iOS and Android platforms. Scientifically proven anxiety solutions based on cognitive behaviour therapy.
Headspace – bite-sized, guided meditations designed to fit busy lives. After 10 free guided meditation sessions, sign up for a yearly $7.99 membership
SAM – Self-help for Anxiety Management. Consider SAM your all-in-one diary and practical workbook for managing anxiety. Use SAM to track worrying thoughts and combat them through both physical and mental exercises. An in-app forum also offers a safe space to talk with other SAM users about coping with anxiety.

Some Helpful Books..

Worry Taming for Teens. By E. Jane Garland and Sandra L. Clark (2002). Ideal for children 12-17 years.
Helping Your Anxious Teen by Sheila Achar Josephs (Phd) is an excellent resource for parents searching for thoughtful and effective strategies to effectively parent their anxious teen. The book is filled with useful advice and proven-effective techniques parents can use to guide their anxious teen through a critical time in their development.

Autism in Girls

As a child play therapist…working with

children is the BEST part of my job. Children are always eager to change, to grow and learn… they are insightful, witty, creative, funny, imaginative and curious about themselves and their world. Over the past twenty years I have worked with many amazing girls, who appear show symptoms in relation to Autism.

Autism is a diagnosis listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Volume 5. According to the DSM, Autism CRITERIA is important in understanding specific behaviors and experiences for children. While the criteria is not gender-specific, some of the behaviors and symptoms for autism is. This is why many girls are not readily diagnosed with autism by their physician. Girls present autism symptoms and behaviors differently than boys. As a play therapist, one of my key initial assessment questions are around understanding whether the child may have behaviors or symptoms which appear “atypical” for children their age.

The following articles may be a helpful start:

What Are the Signs of Autism in Girls – Is Asperger’s in Girls Overlooked?

Signs of Autism in Girls

The first step is speaking to your family doctor for a referral to a developmental pediatrician specializing in Autism, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, Anxiety and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. In your first appointment, ensure to present a diary of some of the behaviors seen in your child, the difficulties they experience, and daily log of meals, symptoms and experiences.

Talk to your child’s school. If needed, speak to the teacher about a Individual Educational Plan to support their progress in school. If your child experiences sensory difficulties, ask the school for an occupational therapy assessment. An Occupational Therapy Assessment assesses your child’s sensory needs and can provide meaningful recommendations on interventions to improve their environment and achieve success.

Behavior Therapy is the new wave in teaching your child healthy ways of managing their symptoms, developing social skills, and communicating. What is ABA?

According to Research Autism Net,

Play therapy refers to a large number of treatment methods, all applying the therapeutic benefits of play. Play therapy differs from regular play in that the therapist helps children to address and resolve their own problems. Play therapy builds on the natural way that children learn about themselves and their relationships in the world around them. Through play therapy, children learn to communicate with others, express feelings, modify behavior, develop problem-solving skills, and learn a variety of ways of relating to others. Play provides a safe psychological distance from their problems and allows expression of thoughts and feelings appropriate to their development More.

Play therapy is an excellent treatment for Autism, as well as is part of an holistic approach in supporting a child with autism, their parents and their family.

I have worked with many girls who have symptoms related to autism and/or are diagnosed with autism.

First step…

a proper diagnosis and support through behavior therapists, assessments, and more are critical to addressing the symptoms and providing a healthy, safe, and accessible environment for your child.

Play therapy…

Teaches your child how to use language to express their emotions, to identify how their body is feeling so they can seek appropriate support, and to understand their thoughts and how it influences their feelings and behavior. This Cognitive Behavior Therapy approach is helpful to support your child use their words instead of acting out through tantrums or behaviors.

Many children who have special needs may experience difficulties with their peers. Play therapy can help build their self-esteem and identity so they can feel happy and content with themselves.

Girls who have autistic traits and symptoms may struggle with anxiety and perfectionism. Play therapy can help with teaching children how to manage their anxiety in healthy ways. As well, as helping children to manage transitions, to reduce their need for perfectionism, to identify their triggers, and to help your child experience greater success with their emotions.

Supporting your children through divorce

At any age, divorce can be extremely difficult for children to cope with and manage.

Parents play an integral role in helping children heal from their experience of grief of the changes in their family, loss of the other primary parent in their lives, conflict between two people they love immensely, and healing from the experiences pre- and post separation.

Invest in seeking resources which may help you to access tools and strategies to supporting moving forward. Separation and divorce does not have to be difficult, and by working together, reducing egos, and healing parents can support their children while healing from their own changed relationship.

Helpful Resources:

Helping Children Through Separation and Divorce by Liana Lowenstein, MSW is an excellent resource providing tips to guide parents on how to manage talking to their children about divorce and separation.

Living with Mom and Living with Dad by Melanie Walsh is one of the many books which help your child understand changes in their family, and address their feelings of loss. For example, children in separated families begin to learn how to cope with having two families, two different bedrooms, two different rules and expectations, new people to get used to, and so much more. Many parents trivialize how difficult these changes can be for their children because children work so hard to “keep it together”. Storytelling can be a powerful way to encourage children to talk about their feelings.

In the process prior to separation, children may have been exposed to parents arguing with each other, raised voices, swearing and disparaging comments about each other, emotional distress by both or either parents, physical violence (hitting, punching, spitting, coercing, and more) between parents or other family members, intensified drug or alcohol use, and/or police involvement. These events can be traumatizing for children. Trauma disrupts a child’s emotional and cognitive development. Some of the behaviors you may see from your child are listed in: Helping your Child Heal.

Help your child heal and move forward by encouraging them to identify and talk about their feelings. This AMAZING resource is a workbook you can use with your child or with your child’s psychotherapist. My Feelings Work Book

Additional Strategies:

Supporting your family heal is an approach that requires both parents to agree upon helping their child. Some important steps include:

Get Help! Seek the support of a parenting coach or a mediator prior to separation and throughout the process to help with the transition and keeping parents on the same page. Co-parenting courses can help teach parents skills on how to work together and resolve past issues which continue to “get in the way” of moving forward.
Counselling works! Ensure your children and yourselves have clinical support during the separation and divorce process. Use your Employee Assistance Program as the first step for a short-term 3-6 session “check-in” with your child to ensure they are supported. Obtain tips and strategies from your EAP counsellor on how to best support your child through the transition. As your child develops and changes occur in your family constellation, engage in additional support.
Storytelling! Try to encourage your child to talk and know what to expect with a range of books and stories designed to help your child.
Communicate! In the past, poor communication may have helped to break down the relationship between parents. Try Talking Parent and Family Wizard to start communicating in healthy ways with each other. These sites are also available for scheduling between parents, resolving conflicts in a healthy way, and maintaining safety.